Lately, I've been going for a number of meet-ups with friends I haven't seen in a while. And like all meet-ups, there would be a component where we each update the other on what's been happening in our lives. Ideally, this would be a great opportunity to showcase what a collected, calm, well put-together, positive person I have grown to become. Instead, I often fall back on stories that bore even me. Yes, the same old stories of what's happening at work, etc, angsty thoughts on certain issues that's troubling me now, my health, etc.
It was probably cathartic once, but like a well-rehearsed script, it has gotten tired. And worse, at the end of the meet-ups, I often regret about letting on too much information, and feel bad about sounding so negative.
Let's hold on to the analogy of the script as I dissect this a little further. You see, I guess once I had "written" these repository of stories for myself, I somehow feel obliged to repeat the lines ad nauseum whenever someone mentions key words like "how's life?", "how's work?" etc. I go to the meeting thinking in my head at the start, don't tell them the story again, don't reveal those angsty thoughts, just smile and tell them new stories. But once I get to the hello, the same words just start tumbling out, inexplicably without control.
Why should I persist in telling stories that are no longer helpful to me?
So my challenge to myself is this. To write new stories about myself and to practise my new lines till I've learnt them by heart.
After all, we are the stories we tell ourselves, so choose our stories well.
I want to say I really enjoyed all the stories you told me about work or singer/songwriter friends or art director friend.
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