Flow

For the first time ever (or at least in a long time), I planned out and ironed the clothes I would be wearing for the week on a Sunday night.

Between Sunday and today, I also completed three reports.

Now, more than ever, it's so important to show up.

Go Go Curry

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."

Anton Chekhov

mid-week post, are you still on track?

to ∞
and beyond

Kenny's Tips: Recycled Materials

I have more photos of my drawers after cleaning and updating them. Added a scotch tape dispenser at the back of this one, which can come in handy (found it unused in the study room downstairs). Today, I shall continue sharing Kenny's Tips, covering: organization with recycled materials!

One thing I find super useful are boxes and little containers, such as those you might receive gifts in. I flatten the ugly cardboard ones and recycle them straightaway. But I've always kept a small collection of quaint lil' boxes, not knowing what to do with them. They could have been sentimental keepsakes, subconscious pillars, or worse still, signs of a hoarder to be born.

However, somewhere between ending my career in the university and beginning another in the hospital, I got inspired by sites like Workawesome, and got to creating a functional workspace for myself. And while trying to organize the first — and most accessible — drawer with the things I use most for work — stationery — it struck me that I could make use of the boxes to segment the space, so things don't just roll all over the place when I open and close my drawers. So I whipped the boxes out and worked them like a jigsaw puzzle, fitting pieces not meant to be together with each other.

I like that my stationery and organizational boxes don't look like a sterile minimalist set; they look like they were collected over time, over places. And within that pastiche are personal memories attached: the two clear plastic boxes at the left are from City Chain where my Dad bought my current K-Swiss watch; the two blue ones on the right housed a pair of Oakley sunglasses, given by my army peeps when I ORD-ed; some of the stationery, previously imprisoned in my box for sentimental stuff, like pencils, Hello Kitty eraser, one of the rulers, were given by classmates; other stationery were garnered all over the house, some I used since sec sch, jc, uni.

I like this idea of recycling materials for organization. They don't incur cost. I imbue them a sense of renewed purpose. Interestingly, while everyone at home used to hunt high and low for stationery in pockets of spaces all over the house where stationery could be, only to ask my mum, "where is the -insert tool- ar?" at the end of the day, nowadays, they just comes into my room, take it, use it, and put it back. I think this fits into one of my goals for Room domain: Every item in the room has a space where it belongs.

So I've shared some tools I use to support me through my journey towards awesomeness. What are some tips and tools you use?

Kenny's Tips: Receipt Holders

Welcome to a new series on Kenny's Tips, where Kenny shares little random tricks he uses to perk himself up on the journey towards A Better Self.

Today's tip involves both the Room domain, and probably Finances domain. In my drawer, I hold all my credit card receipts, until I've settled payment. In the past, they'd fly around in the drawer and become a ridiculous mess. I had to re-organize everything and it was hard to keep track if I've already paid a particular bill. Last year when I had some spare plastic sheet, I cut out small strips and with the labeller at work, I made them into holders!

So I have three of these small holders, for three of my credit cards. With that, the receipts are sorted and clipped nicely into the respective groups. Now, my purchases can be verified and the (non-sensitive) receipts can be recycled after I've settled the bills. It's also a nice clean way to visually keep track of which card I'm using more and what my credit card expenses could be just by seeing how many receipts I've accumulated (though it's also included in my expense budget). I like that it's made with recycled material, I didn't buy anything new, and I've been using it for months and I find it useful for me — no more Drawer of Flying Receipts! Simple & Happy.

At the risk of letting you know what's in my personal drawers, here's seeing it in action:

Click for bigger picture

If I drew a graph of how you spend your time and money, I'd have drawn a picture of your priorities

It's serendipitous that the Golden Globes are held when I'm on leave. Much like how I was on leave at home for Oscars last year.

But I realize I don't care anymore. Not that I don't care about Hollywood or accolades; I just don't feel the need  to sit in front of the TV to spend 3 - 4 hours to honour them. I will read about it later.

And this I think, required no effort on my part. Or any conscious decision. My priorities have just shifted.

Because I have a clearer big picture.

Mindfulness training

Hello fellow Better Selves Project mates! Really enjoyed our little spontaneous meet up yesterday, after the visual treat of watching The Artist.

When I woke up this morning, I thought the film and my experience after tied up pretty nicely in an insight. 

The Artist was clever in its referencing of cinematic conventions and techniques, even as it was a love note and homage to the golden age of black-and-white, silent films. But more that that, its self-reflexivity sensitized me to the experience of watching a film.  

But what does this have to do with anything?

I know I broke a few of my own restrictions yesterday, i.e., eating popcorn (I don't know whether it's supposed to be "heaty"), eating chilli from the baby crayfish spaghetti (I realised only at the end that I had forgotten to tell them not to put chilli, was wondering how come I don't remember it being so spicy), and drink a bit of the summer waltz latte (by accident ah, I really didn't know it was coffee, was so taken in by summer and waltz and the osmanthus), and also didn't sleep by midnight.

(But it's not that I didn't take my restrictions seriously. Other than the accidents, I guess the part about hanging out later than I should was a conscious decision because of the very very great company)

The point of the post however, is not about the transgressions. But rather, what the "transgressions" had given me the opportunity to experience - the value and pleasures of little luxuries I had once taken for granted. 

Without my rules and restrictions, hanging out till late would just be like ok, another outing with friends, but because of the rule of sleeping earlier and the rule of not taking a taxi, I was then mindful of the decisions I was making, and weighing out what was more important to me.

But having said that, I think I still did pretty ok. I resisted the urge to stay out longer and also managed to take the public transport home.

Looking forward to meeting up again next week! :)

21 Days to Change A Habit

How apt then, that our upcoming review meeting for the Better Self Project will be on 21 Jan!

For January, I had set myself the following target resolutions:

1. Jog daily for 10 minutes.
2. Drink a cup of water first thing in the morning
3. Eat breakfast. 
4. Sleep at 11pm every night. 
5. Record daily expenses.   
6. Clear up backlog reports and work. 

Since we still have about a week to our accountability review,  thought it'd be useful for me to do a quick review here so that I can attempt some tweaking or corrective actions (aka last ditch attempts hee).

Generally, I must say, I've found it surprisingly quite easy to incorporate the life-style changes into my daily routines. Am definitely on track with resolutions 1 to 5 (Yes, believe it or not, have managed to keep up with my running!). Although some areas could of course, still do with improvement. (Right now, due to the lack of time, I just tend to ta bao my breakfast and run off to office. However, I still want to work towards my ideal scenario of having time to eat my breakfast leisurely at home, and definitely want to work on being early for work).

However, I'm still having a bit of a problem with Resolution 6. Considering that I want to leave work on time and not do work on the weekends, this has been quite difficult, especially since time at work often gets taken up by meetings and other paper work. I guess I need to squeeze some time next week to clear up the reports so that I can look ahead, rather than live in fear of deadlines (which is an emotion that is not only exhausting but unproductive).

Will report good news next Saturday!

(Ok off to bed now!)

Where Is Your Money Going?

Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are.

James W. Frick 

Kenny's 12 Months Budget Tally (in Oct 2011)

Top 5

1. Food

2. Ez-link top-up

3. Clothes

4. Taxi

5. Alcohol drinks

Truly 衣食饮住行

Slow & Steady

Click for The Big Picture: Red means conquered

I'm not blogging about every domain I've worked on but rest assured I've been steadily progressing to capture Ideal Scenario, Aims/Goals, and Next-Actions for each of them. I've also been dedicating time each day to actually work on the items in my Next-Actions list. I'm neither Rabbit, nor Tortoise. I'm Speed Racer.

三人行，必有我师

In purposefully charting out my life through Ideal Scenario, Aims/Goals, and Next-Actions, the road towards The Big Picture becomes clearer and clearer.

Nowadays, if I eat alone, I no longer just stone or watch downloaded TV. I doodle on my jotterbook: brainstorming on topics I said I would (such as, in a previous Next-Action), working on incomplete domains, or just dabbling with new ideas. Instead of dallying on facebook or youtube, I "procrastinate productively" by organizing, renaming, and uncluttering my digital files. At the clinic, there's less random running around, thinking of how to be busy when I have free slots, there's more perusal of the to-do list (which is now much cleaner than before) and working on something specific.

By looking at the ladders in life, The Big Picture, and dealing with them more intently, a welcomed side effect is the freeing up of more time to be do what I need, and what I want. This reminds me of what a wise friend mused:

"having an end in mind can help you see things in better perspective - and also make you a more effective person."

I will continue to map out all my desires for my Life domains. Inevitably, I'd come face-to-face with the two gatekeepers of success: Maintenance & Review — only after mastering them may I make headway in my journey to the bwest. It can be invigorating to have new productivity tricks or motivation to churn out work but self-improvement is both a process and an everchanging product. I had been at that stage, many times, where I thought I'd reached the holy grail of productivity, only to rest on my laurels and slip back into a laissez faire state of things. Nonetheless, I have faith that this time it is different; this is not the story of the 3 wise men, who are never heard of again after paying tribute. I'm in good hands this time because I have accountability to, and more importantly, support from, the Better Selves Project team. =) The road ahead may be long but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To quote yet another wisemen,

"To infinite and beyondd"

Mid-week review

Quick post and I'm out. (Sorry if it's dry). Today, kept with the water, exercise, breakfast, sleep at 11pm-ish routine, and the daily expenses record. Didn't manage to get much done at work today cos we had to attend talks in the morning and afternoon.

But am happy I managed to reach work on time today. It makes me feel a whole lot more relaxed.

Onwards to Thurs!

Progress updates

And since we're on the topic of updates, here's another one just in.

Thought I should also share some progress on my resolutions.

1. Exercise daily for 10 minutes. So far, have gotten back in the groove of doing this.

2. Sleeping at 11pm-ish. Yep have kept up with this too (as a matter of fact, will need to sleep within the next 10 minutes!)

3. Drinking a cup of water every morning. Check!

4. Removed my make up!  Check!

4. Hydration. Have been following the items on the list but will continue to monitor. (Have not used the eye drops for my eyes, will start tomorrow).

5. Backlog. Completed one report today, but will need to work at a faster rate than this. Will aim for another report by end of tomorrow. 

6. I have also been eating breakfasts, but I didn't manage to have time to eat it at home today. (Luckily my colleague brought breakfast for me). Will aim to have breakfast at home. Which means having to wake up earlier so I can get everything done in time.


Other stuff I've gotten done:

• Set up an iDoneThis account. Everyday, will enter my progress on these resolutions. I find it helpful for also recording the things to be grateful about each day as I reflect on the course of the day. (Mindfulness training!)
• Started an excel template for my expenses, will enter my daily expenses at the end of each day. 
• My cousin is getting married and just asked me to be her bride's maid. I said yes and she appeared quite appreciative, so am just glad I am able to "show up" for a family member.
• I've tried to wash the dishes in the sink before I eat and immediately after so my mom didn't nag at me for doing it much later after (like I usually do). Perhaps being less tired helped me to be a little more hardworking in this area. Usually I'd be too tired to do it right after.

Ok! Enough for now. Time for bed. Talk more tomorrow! :)

Of Dates and Updates

Nice to see everyone active in the blog. Hope that we all got the encouraging first-day-at-work SMSes from the motivation squad of Better Selves project.

Please remember the upcoming project meeting will be
21 Jan 2pm, same place!

Here's an update from my side regarding the next-actions for each domain I've drawn out previously.

Digital Life / Computer
1. Check status of laptop in the drawer.
NOT DONE
2. Block out time to rearrange files in the computer and archive files in the CDs.
ON-GOING
I block out a part of each day to do a bit of it.

Finances
1. Read the current life insurance plan I have to see what are the terms and if there is a need for supplementing it.
NOT DONE
2. Read through trading account application form to prepare for necessary application material.
DONE.
Application forms have already been sent out.

Clinical Mgmt
1. Update "Clinical Mgmt Database" with client info and corresponding Next-Actions
Status change: The Database is being updated with client info. That is incomplete.
I found it unhelpful to enter corresponding Next-Actions. So I found a solution to it.

2. Update "Clinical Mgmt Logging" with recent liaison work
I've updated with the recent past liaison work. And this is consistently updated on the new work.

3. Gather past records of supervision hours (from shared drive at work) which later should be recorded in "Clinical Mgmt Logging"
The records have been gathered. The new Next-Action should be: to block out time to record past supervision hours

4. Photocopy assessment tools (lying in my sunrise clinic magazine folder) and file them properly for easy access
NOT DONE. I think I'm re-wording this to first "Block out time to..." such that I know that is the time dedicated to this side-project.

5. Brainstorm on processes
When to block out time for follow-up on 4 types of Clinic Next-Actions
When to monitor and update "Clinical Mgmt Database"
When to monitor and update "Clinical Mgmt Logging"
NOT DONE.

Do Something Today That Your Future Self Will Thank You For

And so I did.

I know I've been a little off-form the past few days. Been feeling a sense of inertia, a heaviness, not just in my mind but also in my chest. Just a general lethargy to pretty much anything. I don't know why I always get such psycho-somatic reactions. 

But anyway today, when I got home from a pretty much unproductive day at work, I decided to finally get round to doing something. I cleared my room a little. I looked at my notebook and tried to tick off the little things. Like paying the bills online, cleaning my make-up brush, writing thank you notes, etc. Little things. Seeming simple to complete. But also little things I've been putting off due to a lack of energy. Till now.

Turns out, I can get more energy by using more energy.

Take small steps.

It will be alright.

Joy To The World!

I cleared the dreaded pile of random, undefined, boundary-less, brain-nagging "stuff" on the floor. It really is the biggest weight off my shoulder... and well... off my floor. Thankfully I had the 3 day holiday. I could have planned more outings but I realized I had to put in more "me" time. I only booked in a dinner at Daniel's for Christmas. And boy, that was just fantabulous.

I'm gonna reward myself for having practised my values.
A simple holiday that didn't tax on my energy or schedule.
A disciplined holiday where I still plowed through processing the stuff on the floor (of which includes something from long ago that you might not need anymore, Melinda, but I'll bring it for you anyway!)
A happy and spontaneous holiday where I still enjoyed time with good friends and family
A gracious holiday of giving thanks

Hope we had a merry little x'mas =)

Domain: Clinical Mgmt (Part 2) Updates

These were initially 6 Next-Actions that I entered into my to-do list last night. I started working on them this morning after my morning push-ups (yay, for discipline!) Here's a review and update:

Prepare an excel sheet database of clients
I created an excel database, titled "Clinical Mgmt Database". I included the columns I said I would, and made it look pretty enough to use. I have yet to update client info yet.

Prepare a physical file to store case formulations
I'm recycling two ring files; yellow for sunrise clinic, blue for hpb clinic. A bane of work is that I commute between two locations and clients can be from all places, so sometimes the admin infrastructure and systems I've set up to help me need to be duplicated.

Block out time in clinic calendar to do thorough case formulations
Not completed.

Prepare photocopies of assessment tools and have them filed properly for easy access
Not completed.

Block out time in clinic calendar to do follow-up Next-Actions
Not completed.

But remembering my need for "simple", I used past experiences to categorize my usual next-actions for case:

4 types of Clinic Next-Actions

1. Call/email someone. Most common form of liaison work, to communicate plans.

2. Write case-sheets. Most common admin I need to do after each session, which I sometimes procrastinate on because sessions can be overwhelming sometimes.

3. Prepare materials. Depending on the homework given to clients, sometimes I might need to do homework myself. It could be as simple as planning what to do next session. Other times, I might wanna prepare toys,  particular games to learn a new skill, or feeling cards etc. Since my resources are not established yet, I need to gather them and be prepared before sessions.

4. Do thorough case-formulation. Sometimes you're just expecting to treat whatever is in front of you but we always forget a clear formulation can go a long way in addressing perpetuating factors and leverage on protective factors.

Brainstorm about how to create system for "Clinical Mgmt" to ensure review
I've brainstormed a bit more and refined this Next-action. I should be brainstorm about processes; now that I have my 4 types of Clinic Next-Actions, I need to figure out, either event-specific or time-specific triggers, when, where, how I will complete them. And when to monitor the database as well.

Additionally, I created a new database, titled "Clinical Mgmt Logging". In it, I log the liaison work I do, such as phone-calls, writing long emails, and case conferences. This is to fit the last goal of "document all plans, sessions, and liaison work properly to ensure accountability and communication." There is also another spreadsheet in that file, which logs my supervision hours with each supervisor. Because you can never rely on your workplace to do it for you.

***

So with round-2 of reviewing and updating the Clinical Mgmt domain. These are the new Next-Actions to enter in my to-do list.

• Update "Clinical Mgmt Database" with client info and corresponding Next-Actions (from previous to-do list)
• Update "Clinical Mgmt Logging" with recent liaison work (previous to-do list)
• Gather past records of supervision hours (from shared drive at work)
• which later should be recorded in "Clinical Mgmt Logging"
• Photocopy assessment tools (lying in my sunrise clinic magazine folder) and file them properly for easy access
• Brainstorm on processes
• When to block out time for follow-up on 4 types of Clinic Next-Actions
• When to monitor and update "Clinical Mgmt Database" 
• When to monitor and update "Clinical Mgmt Logging"

On Sleep and Motivation

The other day I was talking to a friend and she told me that she slept at 3.30am, doing nothing in particular but that she could afford it because she was young. The implicit comparison here is that I had to sleep earlier (even though 12am isn't that much earlier), because I was, well, not young. What it got me thinking was, is sleep the hindrance, the enemy?

I met another long lost friend on the MRT last morning, on the way to work. I haven't seen him in about 2 years. We were catching up, albeit in a slightly awkward manner, and then he said the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me yesterday, "you don't look tired at all." Context being, why in the world would our jobs have us start work at 8am when nothing of note happens then.

In Singapore, "oh you look tired" sometimes is a sympathy line. Almost empathetic, with the subtext being, "oh you poor thing, you're so worked, you must be putting in a lot of hard work, I've been there, I know how it feels". And who's to say that isn't a valid expression of concern, what with Singapore's long working hours and people just twirling about in a frenzy all in the name of economy growth.

But when I hear "oh you look tired", all I perceive is "oh you look like shit, why you got eyebags, and dark undercircles, and dull skin?" This could be a maladaptive, invalidating core belief at work. Nonetheless, it's my perception. More importantly, is that the image I wanna project? At work, and for my friends? That I'm so stressed out and worked up that I neither look good, nor look like I feel good.

That's not what I want.
What I want (signpost "goal" hashtag, previously known as, hex, in-joke) is to project an image that I can handle what I do, I can cope with what I do, even if it is sometimes stressful. And more importantly, I know how to care for myself such that I can continue doing what I do. And that I am truthful enough to say some things aren't my priority, and that right now self-care is.

I was thankful for Melinda's encouragement, after noticing the wane in motivation.
So I made a choice not to blog last night.
And resumed my self-care routine.
Had my facial mask.
I slept at 1020pm.
I woke up at 510am.
I did my push-up exercises.
and then I blogged.
And I'm ready for work even though I'm early.

Sleep gives me energy. Sleep gives me clarity.
Both of which I need to stay motivated to be a better version of my current self.

What I want and need. I get.

Kenny, you don't look tired at all.

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

Nothing much to report today.

Did my 10-minute run at home and managed to clear some nagging tasks at work! But alas, my 16 psychological reports remain. Lugged my laptop and 6 case files home. Am hoping to clear them during my leave when I get back from Hong Kong.

Was in a bit of a dilemma because on the one hand, I don't want to be doing work during my leave day, because that's against my principles. BUT! I've decided that the backlog will still be there and perhaps what I need to do is to bite the bullet and clear them first, so that they don't become an obstacle to my plans to be awesome.

Speaking of which.

Am leaving for my Hong Kong trip tomorrow! My first break this year. Looking forward to recharging and lots of rest, plus also time to reflect, read, and make plans to become the best version of myself.

But first, I'll need to pack my bags. Tomorrow.

Because sleep is prioritized. 

The Missing Piece Meets The Big O-M-G

Scenario: Did not tally to-do list. Left as a pile of papers and files on the floor, a psychologically blurred boundaries of ill-defined stuff.

Consequences:
1) Did not bring 2 reports. One needed to be handed in today. One needed to be worked on today.
2) Was stressed by nagging feeling at the back of my head, subtly nudging me of what I need to get worked on, even though they were re-written down. Did not feel settled. At all.
3) Had to rush home to scan the first report to email and work on the 2nd report.
4) Had re-arrange the dinner outing with Yishu, disrupting the nice dinner plans we could have had in Holland V.
5) Could not blog for 12/12

Lessons:
1) The to-do list should be complete. Of all the commitments you agreed to.
2) Reviewing the to-do list to see if anything is missing.
3) Never leave things as a pile of stuff. Action on them. Have everything where they should be, on lists, then reviewed periodically.
4) To flow, to still make best use of what is given; Finished 1.5 other reports. Had good clinic sessions. Had good lunch with a long lost friend. Still met Yishu, with a repair of meeting near her place, at a later time, and staying out later to enjoy the time we had.

5) Learning that, serendipitously, the themes of my posts and partner-in-crime, Melinda, seem to always go the same way.
A zeitgeist you might say. Of taking missteps, and finding our way back on track.

Plans may fail but visions persist

So much for wanting to try out the tip on going in to office earlier. I woke up late today. And so, my perfect schedule unravelled. Running on the treadmill, undone. Eating breakfast at home, undone. And what was worse, my headache persisted.

I felt like giving up. I didn't feel good.

But then, something in me said: No, reframe this situation. And I did. I thought: there will definitely be days when things go wrong, how will I cope on those days? How will I make a recovery instead of squandering a perfectly good day?

And then it hit me.

1. Take small steps.
2. Be consistent.
3. Show up.

I can still choose. I decided to cut my losses and do without the run and breakfast. I managed to get to work at my normal time, and I repeated the three points over and over again.

Today, I wanted to make sure I completed some nagging tasks at work. So I did. I practiced hard focus and put on my music. I was very tempted to join in my colleagues in conversation but I persisted and managed to compete two pieces of work that I've been putting off for ages. 

I could go on further. But I think priority here is bed. Will share more tomorrow!